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August 07 2013

Brianne
Brianne
Brianne
3005 0ffb
Reposted fromaskman askman viaBootyfulll Bootyfulll
Brianne
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hungrykoi:

Let me live here. Good god that is some clear water.

Reposted fromcheesypuffcat cheesypuffcat viaBootyfulll Bootyfulll
8514 32af

drucila616:

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?

These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral…
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?

______________________________________
And last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Reposted fromtavpudding tavpudding viaBootyfulll Bootyfulll
Brianne
8675 9e0e
Brianne
8636 2fa7 500
Reposted fromMissPunchline MissPunchline viaBootyfulll Bootyfulll

April 28 2013

Brianne

 

irefusetosink68:

kiggor:

Disabled goldfish gets harness to help her stay afloat

omg thats the cutest thing I’ve ever seen

Reposted frompannakojot pannakojot viaBootyfulll Bootyfulll
Brianne
Brianne
2969 80a1
Reposted fromdirtys dirtys viaBootyfulll Bootyfulll
Brianne
6762 e000
The Monkey's Fist
Reposted fromhemsbeach hemsbeach viaBootyfulll Bootyfulll
Brianne
6649 25c7
Brianne
0122 3f73

paledust:

ninetween:

palestique:

teenagah:

‘The collapse of a shark tank at The Scientific Center in Kuwait.’

i’ve reblogged this so many times

same. i love the fact that it’s real too

Reposted frominsanedreamer insanedreamer viaBootyfulll Bootyfulll
Brianne
Winziges Kaninchen auf der Hand
Reposted fromflauscheria flauscheria viaBootyfulll Bootyfulll
3467 25e7 500

pre-finals week

Reposted fromyeoshin yeoshin viaBootyfulll Bootyfulll
Brianne
Reposted fromgruetze gruetze viaBootyfulll Bootyfulll
Brianne
Reposted frommorgana morgana viaBootyfulll Bootyfulll
Brianne
What gallium does to aluminum
Reposted fromscience science viaBootyfulll Bootyfulll
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